Sht, Spit, and Isis
by BellaVoce4
Summary: Well...you have to kinda read the title..I think this really should be OT...but...anyways...see what happens when Nicho the stealer of title trys to steal our title! I did it...that suxed! This is a really good fic that SD and I wrote while on email.


New Characters:

Namu: Wife of Malik, has two daughters-Sekemet and Phoenix. The older twin sibling of Ryou Bakura. The hirkari of Sakura. Holds the Millennium Dream catcher (you'll probably figure out the powers).

Sakura: Wife of Marik, calms to be a myth in India, Egypt, North America-Indians, and some places around Europe. The yami of Namu. DxK characters

Sekemet: The oldest child of Namu and Malik. The hirkari of Hathor. Holds the Millennium Ankh II. A true Egyptian Goddess.

Hathor: The yami of Sekemet. Has a lot in common with Sakura. (Cause Hathor calms to be Marik and Sakura's daughter). SD characters

Phoenix: The youngest child of Namu and Malik. Has no yami yet, but she'll get one when she's about 9 or 10. She owns the Millennium Papyrus and Brush. DxK character

Nicho: An annoying made up boy, that's trying to steal our title. And going into random disguises. Oh yeah, he's like…a 13 year old kid.

Disclaimer: SD and I don't own YuGiOh! But we make it sound good.

Randomly Starts Somewhere

Sekemet: (cries) He's so stupid! Kill him, yami!

Hathor: OKAY!

Namu: I swear to Ra the I'm gonna k!ll that kid! Let's do it my daughter (s)! Come out Sakura…and my brother!

Sakura: Yes…well all shall k!ll! (stops) I guess Bakura never showed in an instant. (continues creepy plan thingy)

Sekemet: Yeah mommy (ies)!

Hathor: Let's kick ss.

--Malik and Marik show up--

Malik: (decides to start k!lling stuff) WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! EXPERIENCE THE POWER OF THIS!---

Marik: (finishes Malik's sentence) MY MILLENNIUM STICK (rod)! TAKE THIS AND THIS, AND THAT…AND SOME OF THOSE TOO! (smile)

--Isis shows up--

Isis: Yeah, let's k!ll him and make a party out of it. (starts dancing)

Everyone: (stares)

Namu to Sakura: We gotta be careful when we do things around Isis-san.

Marik to Namu: You're telln me. Because Nicho escaped.

Malik: (sigh) Dmn.

Sekemet: So, what we do now, after we k!ll the non-talk freak?

Hathor: (shrugs)

--Isis-san shows up again but with Rishid--

Isis: PARTY!

Rishid: (glare) S-see I t-told you it was a b-bad idea! (pointing to Isis dancing with a load of rum)

Malik: Dmn, I haven't seen her like this until I was like…ummmm…uhhh…don't know.

Marik: --……after you masterbted!

Malik: 0.o…ahhhh yeah, that's it. Aha aha.

Sekemet: Mommy…

Namu and Sakura: Yeah hon!

Sekemet: What's masterbting?

Hathor: (pat) AHAHAH children! (whisper) You'll learn when you're my age.

Sekemet: But your like 30,000 years old.

Hathor: EXACTLY!

Namu: (slaps head) How about when we have that sorta talk…

Hathor and Sakura:D Good idea! .…--

Marik: (gives long talk)

Sakura: (adds important stuff)

A f t e r w a r d s

Sekemet: Wow! That was really informing! Only…I don't really know why I need to know about bees making flowers bloom.

Hathor: (face palm) Is _that _what they talked to you about? (mutters) Wimps. Okay, I'll tell you all you need to know.

--Malik and Namu listening in the distance--

Namu: That's good…at least she's talking to her about the real stuff.

Malik: (sigh) Yeah…if I talked, I would do a horrible job…

Namu: No, don't think that…you'll do perfect! How about when the time comes for Phoenix. Ill sit with you and you can give it. Kay?

Malik: …(sigh)…I'll try…

Namu: Good dog! .

Sekemet: This is important stuff?

Hathor: …yesss.

Sekemet: (goes to tell Phoenix how cookies are made)

Hathor: (cries)

Malik: (cries)

Namu: We are such chickens…let's have Marik tell her again!

Hathor: That will scar her for life, like it did for me!

Isis: Your all such chicken shts. (is totally drunk)

Everyone: (evil eye-glint) Isis, you should tell her!

Isis: I will. (marches off) Oh Sekemet! Your chickens are- (wobbles)

Sekemet: Huh?

Everyone: WTF?

Isis: (passes out cause she's drunk)

-So the insanity continues-

(Malik, Marik, Namu and Sakura are totally shocked)

Sakura: Well…ummm…yeah!…Gotta go…bye! (ZZZZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPP)

Namu: HEY! WAIT, I'M COMING TOO! LET'S CAUSE A RIOT INSTEAD!

Marik: (glaring at Malik) Good idea! Let's go! (ZZZZZIIIIPPPP)

Malik: (stares at the distance) AH-AH YEAH! COOOMMMMIIINNNNGGG! ZOOOOOOOOMMM I'M AN AIRPLANE! I SHALL SHOOT THAT NICHO BASTRD DOWN!

DxK: -,- (smoking)….Whatever….

SD: (sigh)….I'm going to smoke too……-,-

-This chapter of S, S, I-

-Written by: DxK and SD-

DxK and SD: YEAH WE'RE RICH! . YEPPIYSS! But this chapta ain't over yet! Yippy!

SD: Scarlet Dreams here! We're now poor, cause I bet all the money we own on…something stupid! On with S, S, I.

Hathor: I thought I was as airplane? (eyes tear up) Oh well…RIOT!

Sekemet: Yeah! Riot! Grrrrrrr! Boom, explosions! People screaming in crowds!

Phoenix: What's a riot?

Sekemet: Go away, your stupid!

Phoenix: (runs crying to Namu…er mommy) Sekemet's being mean!

Sakura: Go away, kid.

Namu: Sakura! Don't be mean to my daughter! (Sakura gives Namu the 'look') Phoenix, mommy doesn't care right now, go away!

Phoenix: Fine! I'll just stay with Aunty Isis!

Malik: I can't believe you did that…

Namu: What?

Marik: Just sending her off like that to my scary sister…duh.

Sakura: Oh sht, look what you did Namu-san!

Namu: Huh? Wait? You were the one who said 'go away!'

Sakura: (not listening by putting finger in ear, humming the great _Vanilla _Camui Gackt)

Namu: (really getting angry, looks and sees Malik and Marik doing the yaoi version of Vanilla) Wait, wait, wait! No one's doing Vanilla without me!

Malik and Marik: (busy right now, pushes Namu into a nearby garbage area) See, that's how it feels you disgusting aibou!

Namu: (starts to cry) B-but…(gets up and runs)

Sakura: (sigh) I fell bad for the poor g!rl….(glares at both of the b0ys) You both are a disgrace to this world…(walks away)

Malik and Marik: (both look at each other in disgrace)

Malik: (sigh) She's right you know!

Marik: I don't really care.

Malik: I know you don't…but Namu and Sakura are both our wives!

Mark: (stare) Let's bring Gackt to them…!

Malik: ARE YOU SERIOUS! HE'S THE MOST HARDEST PERSON TO GET IN EGYPT! (waving arms around) Plus, we still gotta chase that Nicho kid.

Marik: Hey, I was just brainstorming…Ra!

Malik and Marik: HIT IT! ( _Vanilla _plays again) Daam daam daam daam daam! Baam baam baam baam……….

Isis: (watching her brothers) They are so going to hell.

Phoenix: (plays with dolls, totally oblivious)

Sekemet: (back from 'riot', plays with dolls) Hi Phoenix.

Phoenix: #))&()$&()(&$ 74e8020$(078&(

Hathor: MY INNOCENT EARS!

Sekemet: Where'd you learn those words!

Hathor: Don't say me. Don't say me.

Phoenix: Isis…….

Namu: SHE TAUGHT YOU THOSE WORDS! I'LL K!LL HER!

Sakura: What's wrong with those words?

Hathor: I think it's bad when you call on the god, and don't mean it?

Sakura: (pops up) Ummmm…yeah?

Namu: (stare) Go away, your bothering me. (push)

Sakura: (laughs) Haha…you can't do anything about that. I'm always going to be a spirit within you…in the Dream catcher.

Namu: (looks down at the Mill. Dream catcher)

Sakura: Wait! No! Not the Dream catcher! It's where I live! And keep my expensive things!

Namu: (holding it over an edge of a mountain) Buwhahahah!

Sakura: (sob) Please Namu! Spare me! Spare me everything! I did everything you wanted me to do to serve you! (sobs again)

Namu: (puts it back on her neck) There…happy?

Sakura: (clearing up) Yes. (sniff)

Malik: So…where did that b0y go?

Marik: Which one?

Malik: The one that were supposed to k!ll, because he's going to steal out title…?

Marik: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! You mean…him? (points in the direction of a nearby market, where this so-called b0y is standing in disguise)

Namu: (looks) Holy mother of Ra!

Sakura: (looks) That creepy dude is Nicho!

Sekemet: Holy sht!

Phoenix: Ohhhhh! Mommy…Sekemet said a potty word.

Namu: Shut up…mommy doesn't care right now.

Malik and Marik: (both bang heads) Here the go…3...2...1...

Sekemet and Phoenix: (burst out crying…then run to Isis)

-Malik, Marik, Namu, Sakura, and Rishid (who decides to show up again in every INTERUPTION! DID YOU HEAR THAT! DxK)-

Rishid: So…kids…what are you gonna do now you lazy ss3s?

Namu, Sakura, Malik, and Marik: (glare, yell) EAT THE TATOOED FREAK OF NATURE!

E n d o f P a r t 1 (just so you know part 2 in really short)

A f t e r t a l k

DxK: So fella's, how did you like this disturbing story? (SD, you be the person who answers these annoying questions, since we can't hear our viewers) How did you feel about this story?

Random person: (high pitched voice…actually SD) I felt great…I think.

DxK: Now, are you gonna review?

Another person: (SD's voice gets lower) Hell yeah!

DxK: Good. Would you like another chapter?

Another person: (SD's voice gets darker) As you wish.

DxK: (really getting annoyed) SD, STOP THIS SHT RIGHT NOW! YOU HEAR!

SD: (peeking out of the curtain) Haii… ('yes' in Japanese if you don't know)

DxK: Don't you dare give me that look…

SD: (changes face expression) Is this better? (natural voice)

DxK: Good, now can we get a move on chapter 2 soon?

SD: Fine…god…you don't have to be so mean.

DxK: (stare) Whatever…anyways…you people better review or we'll haunt you…FOREVER! (really-super-creepy-voice)

E n d o f A f t e r t a l k Part 2

Phoenix: Mommy, what's a 'tattooed freak of nature?'

Marik: Him (points to Nicho instead of 'uncle' Rishid)

Sekemet: Yeah that bastrd, who started this whole thing!

Phoenix: (points to Marik) Your not my mommy.

Marik: I could! Who knows what goes on in that bedroom!

All: Ewwwww..

Isis: Oh my Ra! What is wrong with you people! I'm disowning you!

Sakura: You can't do that!

Isis: I'll see you in Hell…or court, whatever, you know. (wanders off)

Everyone: ….

Namu: Wooooooo, that was weird. Did she take my kids with her?

Sekemet: No/

Phoenix: We're here!

Malik: Dmn!

Namu: (smacks him with the idiot fan from Saiyuki which is not supposed to be in here) Don't say that about our children!

Sakura: You say it all the time!

Namu: But I say it with love! I…I…LOVE MY KIDS!

Marik: Well, she's nutty as Isis.

Everyone: (randomly start singing '_Super Drive_' for no reason…and that from Gravitation…which is also not supposed to be in here…oh well…deal with it)

Isis: (has wandered back) Whatever, I got lost. (starts singing, badly)

Everyone else: (leaves)

END OF CHAPTER 1 -be sure you review! Flames are required, just don't be that selfish.- Thx…DxK and SD


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